Plants, heaven, eggs, cake.

September 15, 2006 at 12:23 pm (Bloom Status: Upward)

I have this endeavor that I want to undertake. It’s new, and I can’t decide if I want to talk about it overtly here or not, but I know for sure that I want to talk about the process of nurturing a new shoot.

Yeah, I don’t think I can talk about it in a non-canned way if I don’t just tell you about it.

So, this new thing = I have just been seriously inspired to set up shop as a wedding celebrant.

Yeah, wait. Here’s the thing that’ll make it so I can talk about it. None of you were going to do this anyway, but listen: if you read this, and you’re like, “That’s dumb. Don’t be a wedding celebrant. That field’s all full. What do you know about it anyway?”, don’t say anything. Keep it mum. The dream is new and I’m trying to keep it alive. I’m aware that you weren’t going to say that, though. You’re probably more like, what is such a big deal about becoming a professional wedding celebrant that you’re like I CAN’T EVEN SAY IT??

baby chick

Well, did you ever have the thing in health class where you were given an egg and charged to carry it around for a set amount of time and not break it? The egg was standing in for a baby, but now my metaphorical egg is this wedding celebrant deal-y. I feel like both the egg and the caretaker right now, sort of fragile and vigilant. But also, I feel very excited.

This idea came to me a couple of days ago, in the wake of a fight I had with my mom. Not going to go into it, but it was one of those spirallers – down, down, down… – and afterwards I was sort of praying for some sort of way out of this mess. I had the feeling that I wasn’t properly planted in the universe. Like I was this plant* and my roots were cut off from the original source, and I didn’t know if I was a viable being. So I was praying to be well planted, so I could have some faith in myself, so that I could feel like I could sort of live off the fat of the land, as it were. Live off the fat of the land with just me, the earth and my skills.

*This just in! A friend of the family who’s a retired philosophy professor stopped by, and she happened to drop into the conversation a quote of Plato’s: Man is a plant whose roots are up in heaven. That’s it! That’s what I was getting at, Plato. My root problems.

I was talking to my husband after the fight, and trying to claw my way to some sort of positivity, and the conversation went towards musing about different careers I might be suited for. He reminded me that after I’d performed a wedding for some dear friends of mine in New York, the idea had come up for me to hang up a shingle doing just that. And something about it took root, or the idea of doing that grabbed my roots and planted them back in the source, and I felt very….sparkly. I felt drenched in inspiration – like some celestial gardener was watering me with a big, energetic spout. Ideas were rushing in – I would write people’s ceremonies, and offer guided writing sessions for their vows, and I could also offer myself as a makeup artist, and I could be a person that people could brainstorm wedding ideas with – not a wedding planner, but a wedding muse! – and I could draw pictures for wedding invitations – I’ve done that before, for my own wedding and other’s weddings – and I’d been planning on taking this 12-week course in sacred psychology/hypnotherapy, so I could offer pre-wedding counseling, even hypnotherapy for nervous brides….barrels of ideas were dumping themselves into my consciousness.

And the more I talked about it, the more I wore the idea, the more powerful and happy and confident I felt. I felt like myself, only sharper and clearer and more together. Like some realized version of myself. Good grief! I stayed up until three in the morning, brainstorming and designing an image for my website and my business card.

I want to work on this all the time. I have this beautiful idea for my website, which I don’t want to talk about yet lest there be wedding website idea pirates lurking about in the nearby seas! But this work is so attractive, it doesn’t feel like work. It’s got so much in it that I adore: writing, speaking in front of people, aesthetics, time spent in the contemplation and invocation and atmosphere of love. I think that a wedding done really well sprinkles powerful mojo on everyone present.

Plus I love cake! I may not always be invited to stick around and eat cake, but sometimes I might! I sort of live for cake. A line of work that has a chance of cake, come on.

So now, the question is how do I hold this egg while it’s turning into a chicken? Am I like, hey, everybody, look at my egg!, like I am with you guys here on this blog where I hang it all out there…? Or am I like, don’t look at me. Don’t look at my egg. Look over there. Leave me ‘lone….? I don’t know which is kinder and more empowering for this fledgling plan. I will play that by ear, I think. And if things go awry – say I mention it, and the response isn’t like, “Holy shit! What a brilliant idea! Oh my God! You’ll change the world one wedding at a time!” – say the response is more like “That’s nice” or “Oh” – I will just have to guard against being like, that’s it! Here’s my towel! Screw it! I’m out! It was doomed to fail! For I have a tendency to do that.

But this is good, though. If I keep pulling out my inner compass, I’ll be all right, I think.

Today: Well, I wrote this post, so far. But in the intervening days, I’ve fleshed out a load of ideas, designed an image to take to a graphic designer, come up with a name for the business, and begun writing text for the website.

Ergo, bloom status: Upward, baby. Onward AND.

cake slice

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5 Comments

  1. la Ketch said,

    Bingo. Eureka. Do it. One wedding at a time. Kismet baby. It is.

  2. Eve said,

    Woah. WOW. Seriously! You are creating your dream job! That is unbelievably cool.

    I mean, if I were preparing to get married, I would TOTALLY want a warm,sparkly, creative, intelligent soul like you helping me to pull it together.

    MAN! That is inspired. I haven’t invented my future dream job yet. This growing up thing happened faster then I thought it would.

    I’m psyched to hear more about this. WOOOOhoOOOOO!

  3. PJ said,

    I’m late on weighing in on this; I’m just barely catching up on my fave blogs.

    Yeah, so here’s the deal … YES YOU SHOULD DO THIS. I can’t think of anyone more suited to the whole holistic package of marriage. Yes.

    And I would neither hide it nor shout it. It’ll come up naturally or it won’t; and if it comes up naturally, it’ll be among lovers and family and friends and like-minded souls who will be nothing but 100% thrilled. If it doesn’t come up naturally, it’ll feel weird either way you slice it.

    You are a fuckin’ peach. This is so great.

  4. lindsay said,

    i’m late, too, but: this is great! not too many years ago, someone said to me, hey, you should think about being a wedding photographer. and then i did, and even though i know everyone tells you starting a new business is crazy and awful and you have to know lots of math, there’s this whole other model where you just take some time to invest meaningfully in something, and don’t do too many dumb things, and learn from the ones you do, and figure out you actually like it as much as you think you do and then: you’re it! you’re the thing! and maybe you’re not fully paying for your groceries out of it, but you’re on your way.

    felicidades! i think it sounds great.

  5. Adrien-Alice said,

    Yeah. I don’t even know you–just a blog surfer (although a dedicated one; come for the baby pictures, stay for the verve)–and I think you’ve certainly demonstrated the insight and humor and eloquence that most marriages could use more of. So I’m putting in the stranger’s vote for “go for it”.

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