My dream of greatness

August 21, 2006 at 4:57 am (Bloom Status: Downward, Bloom Status: Sideways, Bloom Status: Upward)

Everybody has a dream of greatness about themselves. Everybody has a picture of what it would look like if suddenly: WHAM! They had their shit supersonically together and had no fear and could make anything under the sun happen for themselves.

fireworks
So, this is some of my picture for myself:

1. I’m an actor, and a writer, and I’ve long wanted to do a solo show. Well, in my dream of greatness, I’m the LORD of the solo show. People see my show and they’re like, FOR THE LOVE OF PETE! That woman smokes the solo show all over the stage! It’s fucking fireworks out there! Pop pop bang! She is in her sweet spot, people.

2. I also love to sing, and compose music. So in my dream of greatness, you cannot believe my CD. Nor my live show. Cap. tiv. ATING.

3. And I love to draw. The cover art on the cd in my dream of greatness? Totally drew that. Plus I have a website wherein I draw pictures of people surrounded by their dreams of greatness and they sell like hotcakes.

4. In my dream of greatness, I’m crazy limber. I’ve figured out how to move my muscles, and I like moving them, and I’m strong and lithe like some kind of dancer. I can totally wear a leotard, and people are like, yeah. That looks right. And not like, oh, the sad fat little ballerina is here. Was not your recital thirty-odd years ago, sad fat little ballerina? Can you not hang up your little toe shoes now? No. They’re like, what? Leotard? Okay, whatever. She’s clearly a dancer. It’s cool.

5. And I’m an author, in my dream of greatness. My book, whatever it is, it is so beautiful. It’s not a novel. It’s not a cookbook. It’s a…book. A great book. A very charming book. One of many very charming and profound books. And so popular. Thank you, Oprah. I know it kept you up at night. The charm would not allow you to sleep. And the profundity also had you rocking ’til the break-a-dawn. I know. I know.

6. Let’s not forget that in my dream of greatness, I found a way to get enlightened. No lie. I either suddenly took up meditating really diligently or the powers-that-be decided to just cut me a break and spring enlightenment on me. So Nirvana is totally an option for me once I kick the can. And I can pop in whenever I like before then. Hey, there, Nirvana. What’s shaking? Same old bliss? Excellent. See you in a little bit. Or something.

7. Plus I can cook!

8. In my dream of greatness, I have got so much money it’s bananas. I’m rolling in it. ROLLING IN IT. And I can do so many fun and wonderful things for myself and for the world. Travel, classes, clothes, houses. Charity up the ying yang! I’d start this dream place for kids, like a Hogwarts for children who’ve been treated poorly in their lives and don’t believe in themselves. They’d come for a week or a month and have great classes and counseling and crazy dream-come-true fun, and the place would be decorated like a radiant, colorful, magic castle. And all these great, loving adults would work there and instill as much self-worth in the little bunnies as could be stuffed into them during their stay.

9. In my dream of greatness, I’m the mom of all time to my little son – who’s real, he’s here. He’s no pipe dream. He’s a wee actual angel person who came out of me four months ago today. In my dream of greatness, I’ve helped my boy feel so loved, so supported, so himself in the world. So ready for this place.

10. And in my dream of greatness, my husband (who is also really here in real time) and I get to live to be 100 years old, and we die at the same moment, laughing our way into sleep. Is that my dream of greatness? No. It’s the dream of greatness I have for the universe, that it is so kind and benevolent and miracle-bestowing that it would make this happen for us. You can do it, universe. I know you have it in you. I’m behind you all the way.

***********

So, there you go. All of that, that’s what I’m looking for. Now, to the job of this blog. What did I do today to get me closer to all of that?

I had a meeting with the theater company of which I’m a member, and we talked about my solo show. I’m doing one. I found the balls, somewhere. So, that’s totally something.

And I did this blog entry, trumpeting my dreams out into the world. That is also absolutely not nothing.

And I woke up today with the feeling that I could probably stop eating ice cream for a while and still be happy. So I made a plan to do that. But I had to eat a bowl of ice cream to help get the ice cream out of the house. So, uh, yeah. Also, I imagined myself walking on a treadmill. But even in my imagination, I was like, eh. Feh. Forget it. So I got off.

ice cream

So, bloom status: Upward, sideways, downward.

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5 Comments

  1. pete said,

    Yes!
    I see you posted this before 5 am? Steve Pavlina’s “how to be an early riser?”
    His blog has me on the same sort of track: Intention! I am saying to myself constantly now: “The goal is a great new career: Make it so.” “The goal is to become a famous poet: Make it so.” I even won a medium Pizza Hut pizza at my company picnic… Maybe it was dumb luck coincidence, but it DID follow “The goal is to win a door prize: Make it so” by about sixty minutes. And I haven’t missed that bus I sometimes miss since this intention stuff. So thank you for linking to the Pavlinas (I’m also trying her lucid dreaming technique). And thank you for putting your energy out there. Have you heard about this video “The Secret” that Steve’s wife (Can’t remember her name…) blogs about? It sounds great. We should get together and watch it. Good things are going to happen! And your solo show is going to rock. Hard. I can’t wait for it.

  2. PJ said,

    Tina, my love, you are truly one of my daily heroes. You inspire me vastly, and it is a gift to be your friend. love, Peggy

  3. flamingbanjo said,

    Wow, a lot of your goals sound like mine (except for the husband and kid ones, which as you state are the ones that are actually living with you in your house.) I’m going to achieve enlightenment and physical perfection through some sort of rolling-around-in-the-proceeds-from-my-creative-endeavors yoga. Try it, it really works! You just roll around in this pile of benjamins, see and — didn’t you ever wonder how Oprah is so successful? Money-rolling yoga, I tells ya.

    This yoga, its benefits are so encompassing, it sharpens the mind and emboldens the spirit, the better to wage this multi-front war on complete creative domination of all disciplines. Take that, Leonardo DaVinci! Science, Art, Music — I notice you never found the time to take up competitive kickboxing, though, Leonardo, so that puts you miles behind me, Mr. “Renaissance Man.”

    I do notice, however, that failure to reach these goals is usually funnier than reaching them. Your ice cream and treadmill anecdote, par example. So even failure can have its place in your world of self-fullfilling prophesy, because the amusing tales of your minor foibles and setbacks will further enhance the charm factor of your narratives. Like the sour in sweet-and-sour chicken, a little failure only enhances the flavor! But success is the chicken. Sweet, succulent, free-range chicken.

    Good luck! Onward and upward.

  4. tinarowley said,

    Pete: Hello! Yes, yay for the Pavlinas. I got an email reading from Erin, and she was great. And yes, let’s totally watch that movie! I want to know the secret! That would be fun! And just, thank you.

    Eggy: Bless your gigantic heart. I love you right back.

    Mr. Banjo: Sir, had I no ethics I would publish your delightful comment as my very own tiny first charming book. May the sour in your chicken always be nearly undetectable. And I found a scrap of DaVinci’s notes on his dreams of greatness. It reads:

    ……..ickboxing. 14. host of my own daytime talk show 15. sing songs at an open mike 16. learn sanskr……………

  5. mamselle said,

    your entry inspired me to think about what i believe myself to be
    how wonderful you put all of this out into the universe 🙂

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